…and that’s Trouble with a capital T!
I am sure it will come as no surprise to many of you that I, like many people out there, would like to write a book. What might seem surprising is that I am actually about halfway through writing a book for which I have a carefully plotted layout. The problem with this is that it’s only halfway finished. At some point, despite friends and writing group members telling me that my book was progressing nicely, I stopped.
When I say I stopped, I don’t mean that I stopped writing. I don’t mean that I stopped thinking about the story and the characters. I don’t even mean that I stopped feeling the pull to finish, to give the characters something to do and to bring the story to life. I just stopped believing I had the time to complete the story. I stopped believing anyone would want to see what I had to say. I convinced myself that the people who had read what I’d written and said they really liked it were just being polite. I fell victim to the myth that Mommies are not interesting, and I actively talked myself out of doing what I longed to do.
This morning, I finally decided to stop worrying about my doubts and begin finishing my book. I decided to breathe some new life into those characters and recharge the story. The problem? I can’t find it. I had it saved and backed up, but apparently not here. The flash drive I keep reserved for these things, which also has a cap that conveniently is the right size to open the battery hatch on my wireless keyboard, is nowhere to be found. I have the flash drive I use for my PTA work. I have the flash drive I use to save all of the work I do for my college courses. I cannot locate the flash drive I use to store all of my other written material, such as articles, guest blog spots, short stories, and this novel I have mentioned.
I know I had the flash drive the last time the batteries died on my keyboard! I know I will soon need it for that purpose, too. As I type, I have to keep going back and fixing words that my presently sluggish keyboard had mangled. Luckily, I have not yet lost hope. Somewhere in this house, my flash drive must be hiding. My existing files must be on another computer, as we have switched machines around a couple times in the past. I still can’t shake the feeling that I have somehow let my characters, and myself, down. I have misplaced several chapters of something important because I let the self-doubt that lurks over my shoulder take charge.
There’s a lesson to be learned here. That lesson is simply, if we do not seize opportunity when it is available, we may lose our chance to create something wonderful.